The Half Life of Esha

I Forgot

2006-04-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been finding myself in the middle of expressing a thought and then forgetting what I wanted to say next. I'm suffering from this condition right now. I was down stairs going midnight spring cleaning and had the urge to come and write. Or should I say...come and forget what to write.

The past couple days I've been trying to keep an extremly positive mental attitude. I've also been trying to think of ways to leverage what I have and what I have accessible to me in order to get what I want.

I'm still working on my business plan. I need to actually get back to perfecting it. And I have some great ideas in order that I would love to put in action...I just need the resources to do it. Most people would become extremely frustrated but I take it as a challenge to my creativity.

So I am thinking that I would like to post a blog just for home finance. I've already started a networking profile on www.myspace.com that I think will be very useful to me.

The Journey Begins

2006-04-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

Well I can't begin on how excited I am to be licensed loan officer! Yey! I have been working! And working! Did I say working? Well I have. One thing you have to appreciate about entreprenuership is that, even if you don't get it immediately, your pay check is directly proportional to how much you work. And the smarter you work, usually, the greater the paycheck.

Right now the industry has so many naysayers. And I have one in my house. This makes an interesting cocktail for success. Wish me luck.

Hiding From the Law

2006-01-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

While I thought that it was just two weeks since I had written in my blog, I know see that it has been nearly a month. It has been a long month of learning. Especially learning that Sidd is right. lol. You know how men can be when they find out that their right...quite bigheaded. In one month I have learned so much about marketing, branding, GFEs and tax prorations that I think I have one of them for lunch. So I took a friends advice that I get my LIVE SCAN (fingerprints and background scan for the DRE) done before I took the test. So tomorrow you can catch me down at the Sherriff's office at 4:00 rolling my fingers on an infrared scanner. NICE!!!

Catch you later.

Champion's Dinner

2005-12-19T22:26:00.000-08:00

1 three day old brownie
1 cup of flan from El Pollo Loco

The latter has become my latest vice. Hopefully this combination will put some weight on my frails bones. Sidd's not appreciative of the skinny look. I just got back from Camarillo, CA. I took pictures along the way. Yes, I do intend to post them. I just am too lazy too dig for the USB cable in the server closet. ( You did read it correctly. Our apartment has a closet dedicated to our server, printer and any other computer peripherals) But hopefully this is the start of me enjoying the journey/adventure instead of working toward the results. As I was driving home I realized the end result of life: death.

So why do I wanna get results again?

My last day

2005-12-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

I've done it! I've left my captors also known as employers. It was a grueling home stretch!

Grandma, I took your advice. I was going to quit and walk away never to look back. I told my grandma and she dissapproved. So I gave notice. A move that would later stab me in the back.

Being that the world doesn't hand you a bunch of sweet smelling roses, I don't see why you have to go around trying to smell like one. I do pride myself in doing the right thing, being fair, honest etc. Although, at times, I wonder if I and the world are playing by the same rule book. I used to think that we were, but that thinking aligns with sugar and spice and everything nice. Sidd has been the most influential person to tell me that 'people don't care about you'. A harsh but true reality. Want a testimony? Ask any celeberity especially the ones on the downslope of their career.

Watch out for yourself, your well-being and your family. Be nice, be generous, be forgiving but be sure to keep both eyes open and tack one onto the back of your head (so you can see the knife coming).

Bad Cell Phone Co.

2005-12-04T21:11:00.000-08:00

I'm running into this now that I have come to the last couple weeks of my cell phone imprisonment.

Sidd and I have been trying to find a way to get out of our plans . So today I heard about this site http://celltradeusa.com/ it sounds good, the catch: $19.99 but I've also have seen a category on www.craiglist.org where a guy was selling off the remaining time and phone on his plan. Cell phone imprisonment is such a big issue that the the Public Interest Research Group (PIRG) has done a little study.

Either way, what can you do? Life is not the same without a phone. You either have a land line and pay for long distance or get a cell phone, be mobile but worry about minutes: local or long distance. Such is life.

- - - - - -> I have a BIG problem with ALWAYS being wrong. WHy is sidd always
Right? I really need to concentate on the cugu of sidd. I am not doing my job.
<--------

Beware: This is what happens when my boyfriend's jealously of my blog meets an opportunity to be alone with it while I help him fix his Playstation II and I go to change into something more comfortable. Let this be a lesson to all women out there: Don't leave your man alone with your blog. lol

The Best Compliment Ever

2005-12-02T08:47:00.000-08:00

"Esha, If I had your brain I would throw mine away."
Thanks, Alan.

He then proceeded to tell me to go travel the world, study at great university and have gratituous sex. lol

I've started to put my brain to work. I'm in the intial steps of planning 5 website. One is a project with Sidd the other four are mine (two of them will probably have to be developed concurrently). I remember when I first wanted to get into webdesign. It was in 1996. I had just started to learn HTML (self taught, of course, with the aid of the internet) a co-worker of mine who worked at Barnes & Noble had started a web design company of his own. I even remembered the name www.neoreality.com --it's still there. I can't remember his name but I can remember his kick-ass PERL coding skills. Wow! That was more than 10 years ago. Talking about missing the millionaire train.

After the Peak

2005-11-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

All of my family and friends know how enamored I am with real estate. My love really lies with the building and the renovation of it. But I know that to work your way to the top you have to start somewhere. Well I'm preparing to make that jump and it is the scariest one ever.

Seeing the recent changes in the real estate industry, I'm second guessing myself. In fact I'm second guessing everything. Our national debt is further through the roof then before, interest rates are going up due to inflations in the cost of energy and I'm not happy with the policy makers being put in place. Woe is me? Maybe.

My aunt, graciously, talked me back into some sense this weekend. She said:
"Esha, you forget, that some people have done some great things in hard times."

Why is she always right?

Well I better get to work.

Revolt on Black Friday

2005-11-25T14:25:00.000-08:00

So Thanksgiving is over, and you would think that the commerically christened Black Friday has some religious affiliation. I'm boycotting! I am not walking into mall or department store as if Sidd's life depended on it. Few people share my sentiments; Sidd and Nikhi are at Circuit City right now.

So I've been surfing and planning what I must do next month. I'll have to teach a Red Cross class this December to maintain my Instructor Certification. I waited until the last minute and now I'm paying for it.

Eitherway... I'm still out for creating the other half of my life (see title of blog). I know I'm not living life to the fullest so taking pains to now do so. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for memories. Anytime I've ever been "down", recounting some of my college memories of hanging out with friends, skipping class, pranks, or even struggles has turned me around. So I've always wanted to scrapbook (One day I won't be able to recount those memories so accurately). Many of my friends laughed at the idea because it's something that "grandma's do". Well, not anymore...
Computer Scrapbooking
Now how many knitting-in-their-rocking-chair grandmas are scrapbooking on the internet? Not many! That site is a solid start, and it has good tutorials. I'm in love with free education.

Thanksgiving Day

2005-11-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

That's one sexy turkey!

Midnight Surfer

2005-11-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

Ok! It's late I know. Sidd is snoring behind me. lol. When I tried to tell him that he snores he denied it as if I was I were insinuated that he was unfaithful. So one night I caught him, with his own voice recorder on his cell phone. I wish I had a picture to blog the look on his face the next morning. We'll be sinking further into our cabin fever being that tomorrow (I say tomorrow because I have a general rule that until I go to sleep and wake up it's not the next day) is Thanksgiving. This town can be so boring! Moving from city to city as if I were a military brat gave me a good idea of what I'm missing. So I'm up late with my creativity flooding my keyboard. I'm thinking:

I know this town has some stuff to do, afterall I see people out late at night in their good threads.

Sidd and I have done some nice things: free swing dance lessons, open mike nights

I've walked or drove pass some places that had some nightlife or romantic date potential.

And there are great places to go to stroke your fancy and then there are the places where you should leave and map your way to the great places.

Problem: Being new or disconnected and finding something to do.

Solution: well...
Sounds like an Eshadventure!I think I going to go the drawing board on this one. Either way, I'm so addicted to this that you know a blog will have to be included. I'll get back to you. . .

No. 10

2005-11-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

So I've been looking up some unique things that people do with their blogs. I've found some truly cool things. I am also set on creating a flash face for my blog with ammunition from this lad (go ahead click on it. There's also a tutorial on how to create a flash blog).

So today was a half day for me. It was nice to remove myself from that office where I usually have to sit witness to such temerarious incompetency. The day my boss learns to verify loan to value or to understand appropriate reasoning in underwriting guidlines' conditions is the day la poule a dents (the french way of saying pigs will fly). Well, like my co-workers said: "You're too smart for this place". So I guess I'll be posting up the old resume but I've come across a new way to find a better job or shall I say a way for a better job to find you.

www.zoominfo.com
&
www.ziggs.com

This blog has become a great catharsis and creative outlet for me. Out of all my obstacles, I come home and b-line to the computer to type coal into gems.

So tomorrow is Turkey day! I've spent probably two hours searching for the perfect picture to post. You know I can't dissappoint.

Nickels in the Bank

2005-11-22T17:59:00.001-08:00

For those of us living in the "I'll live! Play safe.
Save. Then die." Category check this out:
(Those who moonlight, feel free to take a peep)

I found a great little secret...
www.ingdirect.com
They are FDIC insured and their Orange Savings Account
earn 3.50% APY (thats 4X the national average!). I
started the Automatic Saving Plan "Pay Yourself
first". I have it sneak a couple bucks out of my
regular checking account every week. I'll never miss
it but I sure will love the balance in a year.

Epiphanic Ramblings

2005-11-22T16:26:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the movie SAW? I was gory but
meaningful. Or at the least it made me think. The
whole premise was you don't value life until you know
your going to lose it. Like after watching the Matrix,
it made me walk out of the theatre reevaluating my
values. Oh course this epiphanic feeling leaves after
a couple hours but at times it revisits.

Today that feeling has returned but sensibility holds
it back. Today is a definite improvement on yesterday
(I'm trying to be happy for small steps). Yesterday I
was wondering: what is the struggle really about? And
no matter what socio-economic tier on which you stand,
a slow educated glance at the economy has to have you
wondering what life is going to be like in the next
decade. Of course feeling economic effects on your
standard of living depends on the tier. Either way,
how happy can you be in that standard when you see
your country as if it were a minimum-wage-earner
living check to check because its champagne taste is
coupled with a beer budget?

Every daring, zealous, bursting-with-life adventure of
which I wanted to partake carried an angelic
counterpart, in the form of a family member or a
friend, with superior logic and reasoning.

-No, Eto, you can injure yourself on a motorcycle.
-Eto, you really shouldn't do that; turn the other
cheek that is WWJD.
-Well, modeling is degrading to the self image of
millions of women.
-Maybe you should get a [boring, rip-your-hair-out, I
paid $100,000 to get this] job before you take
airplane lessons because you can't afford it now.
-That's too dangerous, you'll die.

Here's a thought: I'll live! Play safe. Save. Then
Die. (Now isn't that what we all dream about when we
think of an action packed adventure.)

New Wonders

2005-11-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's my long day! Wake up late, go to work late and leave work late. So I'm bumin' around for the morning.

I have found some cool features that blogger.com offers. This thing is really cool! I told Sidd I wanted him to make a skin for me. Right now, I have one of the templates that blogger.com offers; the green one! I've put up my wishlist and in the process discovered www.froogle.com. Now this is my kinda site. I was also told about www.buyriteauction.com. One of our potential clients told me how she furnished her whole house for $12,000 with this website. It was tastefully done, a little too european for my style but nicely done.

So I've done some nice little tweaking to my behind the html production now for a new face. I think I'll make one of those begging phone calls to Sidd, lol. But I'm starting to feel like a true blogger...only time will tell.

Skin and Sandpaper

2005-11-21T23:21:00.000-08:00

The last two months of my life have been a pressure pot on a newly lit gas burner. The ingredients: work and chasing after my boss to pay me my commission, the unfortunate events of the previous post, home life that seems to be more void of...love of life. So I've been talking to some friends, family and co-workers. The consensus: I'm way too smart for my job and I should take my tush back to la universite . Easy for them to say when they don't have to pay for it. What is life coming to when you graduate with a crisp degree in Wet Behind the Ears and a monthly coupon to remit payment on $100,000 worth of brain food?

Life brings the most twisted hurdles! I remember when my father first enrolled me in gymnastics when I was five. I fell in love instantly wanting to dedicate every day to it. My father didn't keep enrolled that long and the next time I got to go back I was 12 years old--too late for the Olympics (although the oldest woman to go was 35 years old so there is still a chance for me. lol). After watching the 1992 and 1996 Olympics I realized that the long legs composing my 5'6" stature would put me above the center of gravity needed to perform those Olympic tumbling passes. Now I don't give up easily! But after seeing a 5'5" Svetlana Khorkina pull around her svelte body, I was convinced. Ahh...dream deferred (until a 5'0" lifetime). Then people started telling me that I should have been a model. Oh really? And I'm one inch short of the starting point. Not to mention runway wants 5'9" at the least for haute couture. What is modeling if you can't wear Dior, Versace or Dolce and Gabana!?! I'd need to get rid of these runner's thighs. I'm a bit old for the profession... but I must thank the family genes for this baby face.

So, comments anyone, back to physics, circuits and monocoque structures? Should I claw my way up the real estate ladder since I've overcome inertia?

Pushing Someone Else's Cart

2005-11-19T21:33:00.000-08:00

I've had the most taxing week. Stress is my warden: it has me locked away in my own head with a massive headache. How did I get to this prison? Well . . .I was driven over by a bus. Designated drivers: my employer and my longtime friend.

Now what I'm about to divulge, I know, I must do with care. As like any misunderstood action, it will come back to bite me in the backside.

My employer: I took another position in the company with promises of money and professional growth. To shorten the story, neither came. Sidd warned me about my boss' integrity and while I agreed I chose the optimistic path to what I thought would be serenity at the time. Remember that tranquility now only means insanity later. The only good chess move I've made is to ensure that the knowledge of my quality work was not assumed to be his.

Lesson learned: Don't turn your head when you see people being mistreated. The person doing the mistreating is likely to make his or her way around to you. I wanted to believe that knowledge was power and having known the true intentions of a person was the best defense but depending on where the sting is dealt knowledge may not lessen the pain.

My friend: (Disclaimer: I know I did not ask the appropriate questions and I did not say 'NO'. I do accept blame for my part.) One of my friend's wanted to move to CA. I explained my delicate situations to her ever weekend in our ritualistic bitch sessions. When she arrived for what was supposed to be a week of job interviews and announced that she had to stay with no guarantee of a job, the recommended savings or a place to live. Yes, this decision was a major inconvience on my life but I was willing to take it on because she was my friend. Also I still have this idiotic idea that people can and will do the same things I can do. WRONG! In the midst of my chaotic pursuit of life, I barely had the time or energy to uphold the promises I had made to her than hold her hand through the process of moving to a strange city, settling and hitting the ground running. Two days passed after the planned time for her to return home and I started to get ansy as she had not found a place to live. When I confronted her she became defensive and the next day announced the time of her flight home. My reaction: livid followed by a massive headache. I got no relief from the throbbing with the early morning drive to the airport.

Lesson learned: Being or having a friend does not mean that you will be void of your natural reactions to an adverse situation but you will be understanding and forgiving because of your relationship. I should have asked the hard questions: how long do you need to stay? do you have your finances in order to make this work in a timely fashion? My only issue with this part of my lesson is that I know I need to ask these questions but with all the other events in my life this took last priority. So if I'm usually the considerate person who provides the upfront details of how I am going to put a friend out when will I have the same courtesy paid to me. Lastly, before you put yourself out on a limb, look at the persons track record and don't have selective amnesia in light of reuniting with an old friend.

The saddest part of the whole ordeal is that she didn't have to leave. She only had to recognize that, yes, it was an inconvience and set a realistic timeline so that I could go to the other members of my house and consult with them. Everyone's had to start over, at least once, (esp. in this household) and we are all sympathetic to the hurdles one must leap.

Comic relief and credits:
I dedicate the title of this entry to Sidd. As I was writing this I asked him (in the middle of him playing Dragon Quest 8) what I should title my entry. He said he did want to impose on my "thing". Such a man's response! I urged him to impose as most of my material comes from him. He approved of my blogging as long as I didn't write about "the cart".

The cart?? Oh..... if my memory serves me right:
(whisper) If your a Californian who was the victim of a dislocated cart at Costco, my sincerest apologies. lol.

The Subs are Locked Up

2005-11-12T22:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a week! I've been battling with the thoughts of continuing to work in one of the biggest idiocrasies in CA. It's amazing what a human will do to "make ends meet" rather than take a risk to "make it big".

Friday was my glorious day off! While normal people with colds would lie in bed, Sidd and I washed, clayed and waxed our cars. (Mom I do--I know better). The evening temperature drop chilled my "cold" to colder. You would never know how I survived growing up in NY! When winter comes around (esp. when people see my extensive armor) no body believes that I'm from NY anyway.

The eight-hour wash/ wax process climax as Sidd's attempt to clean under the spoiler of his s2000 went sour. First I recommened he do it, especially since it is such a hard task to lift the spoiler just enough to remove the excess wax wedged under it. Then we realized that the seal on the spoiler is not up to par so we get David to bring some foam sealant. It does up hill when Sidd loses a screw in the trunk lid and removes the lid to shake it to an easy recovery spot. We climaxed at the realigning of the trunk lid while all the eletrical components (locking mechanisms) are disconnected. Sidd said, "I wasn't closing it... it wasn't supposed to--it just went click."

Anybody? How would one unlock a trunk lid of an S2000 when the lock mechanism has been cut to accomodate a rear view camera. Holes were exploited, Maguyver ideas were explored and emblems were removed.

Aaagggghhhhh! I could have screamed. The last time I looked back at David and him I had noticed the electrical components were disconnected. I hope that on some subconsious level I wasn't getting back at him for the cement slab that took out my passenger side tire.

Two hours passed and frustration lingered. I just prayed...for something! Otherwise the next 12 hours were going to be hell on earth if this problem wasn't solved before it was time to go in.

It was finally dark and quitting time for David. He begged Sidd not to touch the car while he was gone. He also called our mechanic on the way out the complex.

In TOM we trust! I'd say it was 20 minutes at the most! I've never offered to buy someone so much stuff as repayment.

Thanks Tom, thanks David! Now we don't have to trade in the car. lol

Halloween 2005

2005-10-31T23:20:00.000-08:00

I sat at Miguel's telling Sidd about Glendal's and my Halloween mischief of 1999. Our spunky waitress was dressed as pro boxer. I've come home to search through taxes and fafsa paperwork. I didn't get to play Guild wars but I had to take a screen shot for the memory.

Such a gorgeous Mesmer am I!

Life's Bump in the Road

2005-10-30T16:25:00.000-08:00

Today I rolled my beautiful baby into the tire shop. Yes! Let this be the only tribute to not-meaning-to-be-reckless-driving. Sidd and I start out to a Reggae club. I haven't been to a good one since my college escapades in Florida. Big up Caribbean Beach Club in Orlando, FL.
He urges me to go out after weeks of unyielding stress from my joke of a job (What can I say? It pays well for me not doing anything. More on this topic another day). So I search the web for a good Reggae club in LA. I find two candidates: one in Inglewood and the other in Long Beach. I consult my California natives to ascertain which area is the least dangerous to traverse and prepare my purse for a mugging that would be less disadvantageous to me. I choose Long Beach! I cute and suit up (no make up involved). We wind away from our home in silence; only to be broken by my proverbial shots at life. Just as I start ...yep--Murphy's Law at it's best... I experience what could be described as hitting as side-walk curb head on at 70 mph. An illegal exit from the HOV lane, 5 road sided cars sporting their hazards and we right turn our way into the local mall parking lot. That's the direction the car now seemed prone to go. Damn this life! As my stacks hit the ground, I whirl around to the passengers side to assume the worst of the flat tire. I know I messed up the boot! Sidd asked: "How do you know?". I've done it before. At least last time I was awake at the wheel. Sidd insisted on doing the work as other commuters passed by asking, "what lane were you in?" and "what happened? Your the seventh car I've seen changing it's tire." Truck drivers! Secure your cargo! Sidd said he saw it at least 200 feat ahead. "Esha, didn't you see that truck?" "No, Sidd" Now my laspe in attention is estimated to cost 347.98. And that doesn't include the small leak and the new engine knocking. Cheers to credit cards!

Another Journal Attempt

2005-10-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

11 yrs old my grandmother started urging me to write in a journal. I did! But very sporadically. Of course to no suprise...I've been trying to do things consistently for years! I guess you can say I'm so excited to do everything that I forget to keep doing one thing.

So I here's my attempt to catalogue my life online! I've noticed my chances of consistency increase when in proximity of a computer. Well actually... right in front of one. I have been playing Guild Wars pretty consistently. Then again I haven't been on in 3 weeks. Oh well...studying for a the California Real Estate Exam is harder than I thought.

So I decided to name my blog: The Half Life of Esha. I always joke around that my mother's originial intention was to name me Iesha (if you remember the song--please, don't sing!) but it was too common so she chopped the "I" off, hence chopping the meaning of Iesha... life. Quite ironic as how I keep this naive outlook on how my glass is always half full.

So to my dear readers (family and friends included), I hope to provide some TRUE entertainment. Do feel free to participate vicariously.

So meet me and Sidd (love of my life):